The Directors Chair

Episode 507 – “The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham”
We open on the island at the Hydra station, the man who was in first class on flight 316 is rummaging through files and drawers. As well as some maps that look like Daniel Faraday’s, he finds a sawn-off shotgun and puts it in his bag. A woman enters and asks what he has found, she calls him Caesar. He reveals a torch and offers it to her. She says they’ve found a man that no one can remember being on the plane. They go to the beach and the man introduces himself as John Locke.

The next morning Locke is stood in the ocean, the woman, Ilana, introduces herself to him and offers him a mango. Locke says it’s the best mango he’s ever tasted and asks if the outriggers on the beach belong to her. She says no, there used to be three but the pilot and a woman took one and rowed off. She asks John why he’s dressed so nice and he says this is probably the suit they were going to bury him in. She looks confused and asks him what he remembers, John says he remembers dying.

We then see John moving the frozen donkey wheel and leaving the island. He wakes up in Tunisia just like Ben did and he throws up. There is a camera filming the spot where he landed. John’s leg is broken and he can’t move. Later a truck approaches and takes John to a hospital where his leg is snapped back into place. When he awakens he sees Charles Widmore by his bedside, Charles says he met Locke when he was seventeen on the island and yet Locke looks no different to him. He asks how long it has been for John since they last met and John says four days.

Charles tells Locke that he was exiled from the island just like Locke, conned into turning the wheel by Ben. Locke says he turned the wheel by choice and Widmore realises that Locke is here to take the Oceanic 6 back. Charles offers to help Locke and gives him information on where all Locke’s friends are, he also offers Locke the services of Matthew Abaddon as a driver and a phone that Locke can reach Widmore on by dialling 23. He also gives him a passport with the name Jeremy Bentham on it, Widmore says Locke’s parents had fun naming him after a great philosopher, why can’t he?

Locke flies to Santa Domingo and speaks with Sayid, he asks him to come back to the island and Sayid refuses. He tells Locke about Nadia and how for two years he was manipulated by Ben to kill people. Locke tells Sayid he is staying in Los Angeles under his alias and goes to New York where he meets Walt. Walt says he has been having dreams about Locke where he is wearing a suit and people are trying to hurt him. Locke says it’s lucky it was just a dream then. Walt asks if Locke has seen his father but Locke says the last he saw of him he was on a freighter near the island. Walt leaves and Locke asks Abaddon to locate Helen Norwood for him. As they leave Ben is seen watching them.

Locke arrives at the Santa Rosa Mental hospital and see’s Hurley. Hurley apologises to Locke for not making it, thinking he is dead. Locke says he is very real and here to bring Hurley back. Hurley refuses and spots Abaddon waiting by the car, he cries out that Abaddon is evil and wants to go back to his room. Locke then acknowledges that he remembers Abaddon from the hospital as his orderly. Abaddon says he helps people get where they need to go and Locke needs to go back to the island.

Kate is up next on Locke’s visits and she outwardly refuses to go back, saying Locke is on a vendetta because he never loved anyone. Locke says that isn’t true and talks about Helen. He then goes to visit her with Abaddon, but she is dead. At the cemetery Abaddon is shot and killed, Locke speeds off in the car but crashes. When he wakes up he is in a hospital and Jack is by his bedside. Jack wants to know why Locke is here and Locke says it is fate that he was brought to the hospital where Jack works. Jack dismisses it as probability and yells at Locke, saying he isn’t special he’s just a sad old man. Locke tells Jack his father says hello and Jack storms out.

Back at his hotel room Locke writes his suicide note and addresses it to Jack. He ties some cable and creates a noose. Just as he is about to kill himself Ben bursts in and stops him. Ben says that Widmore is using Locke to find the island after Ben moved it and warns him that he is a very dangerous man. He unties the noose and Locke steps down from the table. Ben says Locke has a lot of work to do and he is very special but Locke says he couldn’t convince a single person to come back with him. Ben says that Jack has bought a ticket, LA to Sydney, returning in the morning. He believes, and it’s just a matter of time before the rest fall into place.

Locke explains why he never visited Sun and Ben is surprised to learn that Jin is alive. Locke says the next step is to go see Elouise Hawking when he is attacked by Ben and choked to death. Ben then cleans up the room, making it look like Locke hung himself. Ben takes Jin’s wedding ring from the table and leaves, having cleaned the room of any of his fingerprints.

Back on the island and Locke visits Caesar at the Hydra, he explains the Dharma logo and says he has been on this island for over a hundred days. Caesar explains that on the plane he was sitting next to a big man with curly hair when there was a flash of light then he vanished. Locke says he has a better understanding of how he came to the island and asks if everyone is accounted for. Caesar says they are apart from the ones who were injured. Locke is shown the injured victims of the crash and Locke see’s Ben lying on a bed. He tells Caesar that this is the man who killed him.

I can’t get enough of Lost…who is the good guy, Ben or Widmore? I’m inclined to think Widmore at the moment after he said Ben tricked him into leaving the island, hopefully we’ll see some of that later, but I just love Ben. Surely he must have known about Elouise Hawking – why did he not know her entire history, who she was and why is he getting so stressed about her? Because she is Daniels mother and Daniel and Widmore have strong ties?

Why is Locke so special and why do both Charles and Ben want Locke to lead the island? So many questions! I don’t think Locke did a very good job at convincing the Oceanic Six to come back. Considering what was going on at the island…although we don’t know if Locke moving it again has stabilised the time jumps…we do know that Jin is now part of Dharma so when are we? More please!

Episode 206 – “Same Girl”
When running in the park Bret and Jermaine meet a girl with a lazy eye who has lost her dog. The Conchords agree to help her find him, his name is Charlie and he has epilepsy. They break into song, both having fallen in love with the same girl.

Bret and Jermaine fight to spend as much time with the girl as they can, arguing that they each don’t even know her name, Bret thinks its Bruhbruh and Jermaine Barbara. At a band meeting they announce they’re both writing new songs which excites Murray. He asks what happened to Jermaine’s sailing song he was working on a year ago. Both the new songs are about epileptic dogs and Murray thinks they should only have one. The Conchords record their track but end up fighting during the process.

They throw a benefit for dogs with epilepsy and perform they’re new song, they end with a remix full of flashing lights which sends the dogs into fits and die. Afterwards the woman speaks to them, announcing what a tragedy it was and Murray asks her to choose between the Conchords as they both fancy her. She is shocked, she thought they were both gay. She then decides that she likes Bret more so goes off with him. She says because he knows her name, it’s Bruhbruh. She then tells Bret Charlie has been dead for six years as she calls out his name.

Couple of good tracks here even if the episode mirrors one from the first season a bit closely. Murray was held back at bit but had some of the funnier lines this episode like in the recording studio wondering where the piano was coming from and wanting to know who was Pro and Anti aids. Jermaine never gets the girl does he…

Y2Rating: 7/10

In a rare quarterly report showing solid profits, Marvel Entertainment said that it earned $63.0 million on $224.3 million of gross revenue in its fourth quarter, compared with $27.6 million on $109.3 million during the comparable quarter a year earier — a 128-percent increase in profits. More than $136 million came from sales of Iron Man DVDs. “In addition to providing a substantial contribution to our operating results, our 2008 theatrical releases have raised the level of global awareness for Marvel and two of our key brands,” Marvel’s chairman, Morton Handel, said in a statement.

On Tuesday, the company announced that it now plans to open its Spider-Man musical on Broadway on February 18, 2010. It’s the third time that the opening has been delayed. With a budget $31.3 million, it is reportedly the most expensive production ever mounted on the Great White Way.

Also announced, Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to continue playing Nick Fury in no less than NINE Marvel Movies. NINE! Let’s count what they may be…Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3, Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, Hulk 2, Nick Fury, Hulk 3, Captain America 2, Captain America 3.

Possibly…

Source: IMdB

Episode 316 – “Building 26”
Sylar is still on the road with Luke, they are still in search of Sylars father and Luke is getting excited by the road trip. Sylar scares him a little and at a diner Luke gives up the address that Sylar needs. Agents appear and hold Sylar at gunpoint, Luke distracts them and Sylar escapes. Luke is shot and captured. Sylar drives off but later comes back and kills all the agents, recues Luke and takes a briefcase with him.

Nathan is running operations from Building 26 with The Hunter. Homeland Security pay Nathan a visit and when the bureaucrat Abi sees Tracey Strauss kept locked up she says she is shutting the whole operation down. Later Tracey manages to escape and Abi witnesses first hand Tracey kill one of the agents. Tracey is caught again and Abi agrees to keep funding the project. The Hunter had set Tracey free in order for her to kill so they wouldn’t be shut down.

Hiro and Ando are in India, Hiro believes they have to stop a wedding in order for Hiro to get his powers back. Ando steps in and stops the wedding but is kidnapped by the angry groom. Hiro saves him and stops the wedding a second time and he and Ando are friends again. Hiro learns that he doesn’t have to have powers to be a hero. The bride realises why she knows Hiro and Ando’s names when she brings a fax to them. It’s from the Rebel and says they must save Matt Parkman.

Claire gets another text message from the Rebel who tells her to save Alex from Sam’s Comics. She does and finds its her father that is hunting the innocent down. She tells her mother the truth about her trip to New York and what Noah is doing and Noah is kicked out of the house. At a bar he drinks but falls unconscious, Matt Parkman, Peter and Mohinder take Noah away.

Terrible, terrible episode. So slow, so boring. We know Noah is doing this to save his family, it’s what he has been doing the past two seasons. The Hiro story was rubbish and the acting from the Indian bride appalling. Seriously, Heroes needs to have a long, hard look at itself. The story sounds promising but it’s being executed terribly.

Y2Rating: 3/10

Episode 506 – “316”
We open with Jack opening his eyes. He is lying on his back in the jungle. This looks awfully like the first episode. We then hear Hurley’s voice calling for help. Jack runs through the jungle towards the voice and finds Hurley in the water. He dives in and pulls him to safety when he spots Kate lying over some rocks. She is awake. She asks if they’re here and Jack nods.

Forty six hours earlier and we are back in LA with Ben, Sun, Jack and Desmond with Eloise Hawking. She takes them down some stairs and into a vault that is known as the “Lamp Post”, a Dharma station. She explains that Dharma spent a long time trying to find the island but they realised that they should stop looking where they thought it was and start looking for where it would be. The others look confused as Eloise says there is a small window that shuts in thirty-six hours in which they can use to get back to the island. She says they need to take Aijira Airways flight 316 to Guam and must recreate the events of flight 815 as best they can. That means as many as on the original flight as possible.

Ms. Hawking takes Jack aside as says he needs to give Locke something of his fathers as Locke will now be acting as a proxy. Jack struggles to believe any of this and Ms. Hawkings tells him it’s called a “leap of faith” and hands him John Lockes suicide letter. Ben asks what Eloise wanted and Jack tells him its not important. Ben tells Jack about Thomas The Apostle who had to touch Jesus’ wounds on the second coming to believe it truly was him. Ben says everyone is convinced sooner or later. Ben says he will meet Jack at the airport, now he has some loose ends to tie up with an old friend.

Jack gets a call, he goes to a retirement home and meets a man called Ray. Ray has been trying to escape and the wards say if he tries it again they’ll have to move him to a higher security area. Jack apologises and has a talk with Ray who turns out to be his grandfather. Jack unpacks the bag Ray has packed whilst Ray says one day he will get out and he will go somewhere they will never find him. Jack finds a pair of shoes in Rays bag, they were Christians. Jack takes them with him.

When Jack gets home he finds Kate lying on his bed. He asks what she’s doing here and where Aaron is. Kate says she’s going back to the island but to never mention or ask about Aaron again. Jack and Kate kiss and most probably do some more as the next morning Jack is making Kate some coffee and orange juice.

Jack gets another call, this time from a bloodied and bruised Ben who says he’s been sidetracked and Jack needs to get Locke’s body and take him to the airport. Jack goes to the butchers and puts his fathers shoes on Locke. He also puts the suicide note in Lockes pocket. At the airport Jack says that Locke is a friend of his and it was his wish to be buried in Guam. A stranger in the queue offers Jack his condolences for the loss of his friend as Jack sees Kate. Sun appears and says if there is any chance of Jin being alive, she has to go back to the island. (Seeming to forget about her daughter yet knowing how much trouble it was to leave the island in the first place!)

On the far side Sayid is being led, apparently handcuffed, through security and Hurley is in the airport lounge with a guitar case. They board the plane, they are the only ones in first class with the exception of the man who offered Jack his condolences and the Marshall who is escorting Sayid. Ben rushes onto the plane frantically, his arm in a sling. A stewardess hands Jack Locke’s suicide note saying they found it when performing security checks on his cargo. When the plane takes off we hear the pilot, it’s Frank Lapidus. Jack goes to speak to him and Frank spots the Oceanic 6, he says “we’re not going to Guam, are we?”

Jack speaks with Kate, he says it’s funny how they’re all back together again. Kate says they are on a plane, it doesn’t mean they’re together. Ben is reading, Jack asks him how he can and Ben says his mother taught him (when we all know Ben’s mother died after giving birth). Jack wants to know what’s going to happen to the rest of the passengers on the flight and Ben says “who cares”? Ben tells Jack to read the suicide note and gives him some time alone. Jack opens the note and it reads “I wished you had believed me”.

Turbulence hits and the passengers start to panic. They buckle up when there is a flash of white light and Jack wakes back up on the island. Jack, Kate and Hurley step out of the lake and hear some music playing. A Dharma van pulls up and out steps a man holding a gun, he points it at the three in the lake and it’s revealed to be Jin.

Episode 515 – “In A World Where The Kings Are Employers”
It’s Susan’s first day at her new job but MJ is sick. She goes to leave him with Mike but he has to go on a plumbing job. Susan argues and Mike gives in to missing work to look after his son, but when Susan returns home she finds MJ is with Katherine. This happens a couple more times and MJ is really enjoying spending time with Katherine which upsets Susan. She tells Katherine that from now on MJ will either be with Susan or at Mike’s, he’s not going to be coming to Katherine’s anymore. Katherine reveals that sadly, that’s not true. Mike is moving in with her so MJ will be seeing a lot more of her.

Gabby is disappointed to learn that Carlos won’t be getting the bonus this year, no one in the company will be. When Gabby tells her jeweller that she can no longer afford the bracelet she wanted she spots Carlos’ boss outside with another woman. She uses this to blackmail him into giving Carlos a hefty bonus. Later his boss and wife come to visit to share the news that they’re pregnant and they want Carlos and Gabby as the Godparents. They accept but struggle to keep the truth from spilling out.

Lynette wants Tom to sell Scavos as it’s not making any money. I’m not surprised when they have six staff on when there are no customers! Tom fires the staff and hires his family to help out which causes some rifts. Tom lets out his anger on one of his children and realises that this is no longer working. He resigns himself to the fact he has to sell which pleases Lynette.

Bree and Orson have a disagreement when Orson learns Bree gave Andrew a “cost of living increase”. Orson finds out Andrew is earning nearly double what he’s on and he can’t believe it. Bree tells Orson that he’s not a caterer and only been in the business a while unlike Andrew and Orson takes it personally. He steals one of Andrews expensive pens and it looks like this isn’t over yet.

Edie wants to go away to an expensive spa this weekend but Dave has made plans with Mike to go camping. Mike is bringing along Katherine and Dave asks Edie not to tell her she isn’t going. She agrees. Dave has kept Doctor Heller’s briefcase full of pills and his phone which keeps ringing. He sends messages to the office and says that he’ll be back by the fifteenth. Dave starts to pack for his camping trip, taking a gun with him.

Again, I just can’t get enough of Dave. I look forward to seeing how this is going to end. Did they not identify the body of Doctor Heller after the fire? I don’t recall Dave pulling his teeth out. I like Dave. It’s also worth noting that the actress who plays Edie is leaving the show…could she get caught in the crossfire? Could she die from depression? Will she just leave Wisteria Lane? Either way, I’m still excited about this show.

Y2Rating: 8/10

Episode 707 – “Ocean’s Three and a Half”
Bonnie finally has her baby! They call her Suzy and Stewie falls in love. He tries to write her a song but struggles and in the end makes a video for Bryan Adam’s Everything I Do…With the birth of his new daughter Joe is struggling for money after the expensive hospital bill. He turns to loan sharks but when he can’t pay them back, they break his legs. Peter comes up with a plan to steal the money from his father-in-law at one of his “put your money in my vault” parties.

Funny episode after a long period of absence. There were two sections that didn’t fit with the story but that took five minutes from the run time each, those being the music video, which was funny. The second was the Christian Bale rant with Peter added in so it sounded like Bale was lashing out at him. That was hilarious. Maybe because I hadn’t heard the Bale rant until this?

Great episode and glad we’ve finally seen the birth of little baby Swanson. There was a joke by Quagmire after she was born where he said “she’s already 18”, I thought they could have done something like “she’s already 10” seeing as the show has been running on and off for the past ten years. But a pervert Quagmire joke is just as funny.

Y2Rating: 8/10

Episode 205 – “Unnatural Love”
Murray wants the Conchords to go night clubbing but Bret and Jermaine are hesitant. Murray acts all Dad-like and forces them into the club, thankfully Dave is there to help them. Inside they crowd around Dave who starts them singing when he mentions there are “too many dicks on the dancefloor”. Great song.

The next day Jermaine wakes up with in an Australian girls bedroom, her name is Keitha. He calls Bret on his camera-phone who tells him to jump out the window, he can’t as she is now awake and talking to him. Jermaine goes to a sexual health clinic and both Murray and Bret talk about shunning him. Jermaine keeps seeing Keitha and together the two of them plan to elope. Only it was all a rouse so Keitha could rob the Conchords.

Fantastic episode with two great songs. So fun to hear each nation mock each other and their accents. I hope this is how they plan to continue things.

Y2Rating: 8/10

Episode 315 – “Trust and Blood”
The plane has crashed and it seems everyone survived. Nathan is on the phone talking to someone, it’s forty-eight hours later and we’ll keep flashing between then and after the crash throughout the episode.

After the crash there is a missile fired onto the scene of the crash in order for it to look like the plane was shot down and also to wipe out any heroes that are scattered about. Peter and Tracey plot to lure Nathan out, alone. Matt is looking for something to draw with and Ando and Daphne need to get to the crash site.

Matt draws Hiro in India which makes him decide he has to get his powers back by finding another sword. He also draws Daphne getting shot. Using Ando as a charger, Daphne takes them to the crash site and after a reunion with Matt she is shot. Matt goes crazy and gets inside the heads of the soldiers causing them to shoot each other (why did he not just do this from the beginning?).

Claire is captured and Nathan sends her home, Claire can’t trust either Nathan or Noah as both struggle to deal with the head of the soldiers – The Hunter. At home Claire gets a text message saying that she needs to keep fighting and not give up, she asks who it is and it says a friend. Tracey lures out Nathan, but it is a trap so Peter can get to Nathan, only Nathan didn’t come alone and Noah has a clear shot on Peter but he doesn’t take it. Peter holds Nathan hostage and takes his power, flying off. It is also revealed that Peter can only hold one power at a time that he takes from people he touches.

Nathan takes Tracey and puts a hood over her head, he takes her to a truck where she is filmed. He makes a speech about how he is doing the right thing for everyone, she screams that he is one of them but he walks away as she is drugged again.

Meanwhile, in New Jersey, Sylar is torturing one of the soldiers that tried to kill him when a woman and her son, Luke, come home. They are trapped into their seats and Sylar thinks they know where his father is. Luke shows he has powers and Sylar uses his lie detector to know he hates his mother. Luke saves Sylar from an attack by the soldier but with his only source to his father now dead, Sylar leaves. Luke tags along and says he knows where Sylar’s Dad is and he will take him there if he can come too.

The reason this post is delayed by so long is probably because I didn’t enjoy this episode much and wanted to forget about it. I really don’t understand the logic behind some of these stories…like why didn’t Matt just get into the head of one of the soldiers to escape? I can only hope things improve.

Y2Rating: 6/10

The review of Wall-E is now online in the review section.

It’s heart-warming, it’s tear-jerking, it’s what Pixar are best at and they once again deliver. The robots, intentionally, have more personality than the humans, able to deliver more with a slight movement than their fleshy counterparts could in a soliloquy.

You can read the full review by clicking here.