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Today I learned that Cheryl Cole thinks that the RATM campaign is “mean” to X-Factor winner Joe McElderry.
Cole, who worked with McElderry on the talent show, said she would be upset if the 18-year-old missed out on the crown.
”I would be devastated to see Joe lose possibly the best thing that could happen to him in his life, she told The Sun.
Every aspiring pop star dreams of a number one record.
He put his heart and soul into every single week of The X Factor and I cannot bear to see him lose out to a mean campaign that has nothing to do with his efforts, she said.
”If that song, or should I say campaign, by an American group is our Christmas number one I’ll be gutted for him and our charts.”
Read the article here.
What give Cheryl Cole the right to say that its mean? At what point did it become obligatory for The X Factor finalist to become number one at Christmas? Lets examine a few things shall we, and I’ll try to go slowly for the Geordie bint.
Firstly “mean campaign”, this is not a mean campaign, this is a wake up call to the music industry who think they can do what they like and command what they like. I’ll let MC Lars take over…
Secondly, what the FUCK is wrong with an American band being number one? How many ENGLISH artists are there in the charts these days anyway? I suppose Cole was devastated when Michael Jackson’s Earth song was #1 in ’95 or when Mad World was topping in ’03, Whitney Houston in ’92, and what about the first Christmas number one recorded in 1952 by Italian American Al Martino? No…because back then music was good! (Further claims that Cole is indeed a racist and her marriage to Ashley is all a cover up.)
She is suggesting that freedom of expression and freedom of choice should be abolished to allow a TV talent show to try and bring in some more money. Ive no doubt that Mrs. Cole gets a cut of the single sales made hence her desperation to get her show to the number one spot. I also dont doubt that she knows her latest single is a load of cobblers and will never have the opportunity to make number one hence her having to live her dream through a proxy.
Still, talentless losers have to stick together right? Next therell be a duet coming out, Rage Against The General Public by Joe and Cheryl. There will be no fightback against this. When is number one important other than at Christmas? Since when did the music charts offer anything other than mindless b0llocks? Why is the number one at Christmas spot sacred? No one remembers it. No one looks back on their life and thinks ah, that Christmas was the best because Shakin Stevens was on the wireless.
Would anyone miss Mrs. Cole if both her and her husband were killed in a car accident after both doing lines of coke and sleeping with a homeless who they later stuffed in the boot of their car only for him to fashion a device out of the used needles and rope to cut his way into the brake lines so as Ashley drives at ten thousand miles an hour in an attempt to make up for his lack of masculinity in the icy conditions crashes head first into a church that sends his car erupting into flames, burning the flesh off their skin as they are looked down upon by the church as they melt into eternal damnation where, God knows, theyll probably get off on the sick depravity they are going to be subjected to by Satan himself. I wouldnt.
Why do people care about this? Why is there not this much backlash against the ridiculously high petrol prices or the war in the Middle East? Why is there no campaign to find Bin Laden? Yet nine million people will join the facebook group to install a dislike button. We are a fickle nation. We ignore the important things, we let other people worry about that but then lambast them when they try something that not everyone agrees with.
So go out and buy Rage Against the Machine, make it number one this Christmas and then think to yourself, I was part of that. I screwed the system man. Then turn your attention to the bigger problems in the world, get your dislike button installed and get your house turned into a giant pirate ship. Only then stop and say, I want to help the world.