This content has been archived. It may no longer be relevant

Football is a funny old game which is made even funnier when you see the stupid amounts of money being banded about by the clubs in it. January brings around the transfer window, an opportunity for every club to bolster their squad mid-season…everyone except Arsenal of course who rarely buy in the summer.

The January transfer window brings hope but it mostly goes past without actually affecting you in any way shape or form. But not this year. This year it produced laughable transfers, involving two of the clubs that I bitterly despise, Liverpool and Newcastle.

We saw Liverpool sell Fernando Torres, a player who in my opinion has been really below form this season and indeed last year. He is a player that even when on his best day is not even in the shadow of some of the great Premier League players and will probably wind up injured. Chelsea buy Torres for £50m. That is a great deal on Liverpool’s part, that is a LOT of money for someone who probably is worth half of that or less this season.

Now Chelsea have a strike force of Torres, Drogba, Sturridge, Anelka and Kalou. That will either cause a fight for places or a lot of unrest, and we know how stroppy Anelka can get!

So with the £50m that Liverpool received, what did they go and do? They splashed the cash on another injured striker. Andy Carroll. £35m. What a joke! He isn’t even worth £3.5m! But I suppose he will fit in well at Liverpool what with his criminal record and history of violent abuse. He’ll be able to team up with Gerrard and take on DJs in night clubs when they won’t play ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’.

Newcastle lose their main striker, leaving them with Leon Best, even after Carroll admitted he wanted to stay at Newcastle (http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/newcastle-united/nufc-news/2011/01/31/andy-carroll-says-he-wants-to-stay-at-nufc-72703-28085042/). Hopefully this will be enough to see them get relegated and as for the money? Going directly into Mike Ashley’s back pocket. This is the guy who valued a relegated club at £200m, he couldn’t sell it then so he is going to try and milk it for all it’s got.

There were of course other transfers in the window but these two are the standout ones. The ones that make you think “you know what, I’m not going to watch anymore”. But you will watch, you will watch as Torres dons the blue shirt of Chelsea this Sunday as they go up to face…yep, Liverpool. You couldn’t write this sort of stuff!